The Mattcave » Me

Testing

mattstocum — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:33:02 +0000

Just testing some blog/twitter crap.

Turkey Durkey DUMB

mattstocum — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 01:37:19 +0000

I’m in DE, halp!

You got a good thing going baby

mattstocum — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 23:53:58 +0000

When I was in high school, I asked a girl out by quoting the line “I’d sure love to call you my girlfriend.” It was cute.

Not bad

mattstocum — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:00:30 +0000

12 miles in about 50 minutes, averaging 15mph for the ride. The first time I rode to Falls Bridge and back I was dead tired by the time I got home. Today was a good hard ride and I was … Continue reading →

Weapon of Choice

mattstocum — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:27:07 +0000

Moved…

mattstocum — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:57:50 +0000

FYI, if you go to the old address http://blagomatic.wafflehouse.org/ you should now be redirected to http://mattstocum.com/. Hopefully this will work without any problems.

Video from Sakura Sunday

mattstocum — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:57:44 +0000

Computer Service Fee Schedule

mattstocum — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:44:52 +0000

With the recent economic downturn, it’s been hard for people to afford my standard rate of $100/hr. In an effort to make my services a bit more affordable, I present the following revised table of computer service rates:†

ETA: I thought this went without saying, but this list applies to female clients only. Sorry Phil.

Service	Fee
Install software	Show me your boobs.
Setup Gmail	15 minutes of making-out.
Setup new hardware	An erotic massage.
Computer buying advice	Dinner, movie, and “coffee”.*
Computer running slow	Oral sex.
Virus removal	Two things: cheerleader outfit and set of pom-poms.**
Reinstall Windows	One hour of dirty, dirty sex.
Setup Hotmail	Call your hot friend to join us.
Computer frozen	Donkey Punch.***
Re-install Mac OS X	A friendly hug.

* Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.
** Any actual cheers performed will earn free tech-support.
*** Includes 95% dumb-ass surcharge.

† The standard family rate of $50/hr or dinner will NOT change.

On Smoking and Killing Kittens

mattstocum — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:09:55 +0000

The talk about the new cigarette tax (which I’m having an amazingly difficult time finding a story on) has me thinking about vice taxes. The general rationalization is that you put a tax on naughty behavior, that you can’t outlaw, in the hopes of decreasing demand.

What happens when it works though?

What makes sense to me is you take tobacco taxes and use them to fund smoking cessation programs. That way when the tax pool dries up from people quitting, the demand for the programs dries up.

So what are they going to spend the new tax money on? SCHIP, a program that has nothing at all to do with smoking.

What you’re left with is the government saying, “smoking is bad, so we’re going to encourage you to quit,” but whispering, “please don’t, we really need the money.”

Are they trying to lose followers?

mattstocum — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:21:04 +0000

Vatican backs abortion row bishop

A 9 year old girl is raped by her step-father, becomes pregnant with twins, and then has an abortion. I don’t care where you stand on abortion, there is no way a 9 year old can be expected to carry twins to term. The pregnancy would have killed her, and the fetuses.

Of course the Catholic church does what it always does, freaks out in the most absurd way. The local bishop excommunicated the girl’s mother and the doctors who performed the abortion, but not the girl because she was too young. So she’s too young to be excommunicated, but not too young to be a mother, got it. Also missing from that list is the man who raped his 9 year old step-daughter. And the Vatican is backing the bishop’s decision.

How fucking detached from reality are these assholes?

“Life must always be protected, the attack on the Brazilian Church is unjustified.” How about the life of a fucking 9 year old rape victim? That’s not worth protecting?

I can’t wait until these assholes have gone extinct.